You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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