i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
