Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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