There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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