I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
