Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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