Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
