Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
