I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
