I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Randomize
