so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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