I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
