She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
