I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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