Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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