I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
