My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
