It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
