ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
