i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
