Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
