Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize