Texts From Last Night

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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.

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  (775): Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy. http://tfl.nu/sqr0
  Replies (20) Good night (1129) Bad night (4552) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities

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  (315): It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities http://tfl.nu/tqmj
  Replies (11) Good night (4980) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.

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  (770): All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard. http://tfl.nu/f3jg
  Replies (3) Good night (2635) Bad night (631) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"

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  (713): He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality" http://tfl.nu/r05f
  Replies (10) Good night (3229) Bad night (1080) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?

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  (937): Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship? http://tfl.nu/9ufc
  Replies (12) Good night (3768) Bad night (835) Order T-Shirt
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  (305): View more from Florida

  he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!

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  (305): he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!! http://tfl.nu/msw0
  Replies (11) Good night (2171) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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  (678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2
  Replies (18) Good night (497) Bad night (1680) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Ong my arms are moving wo my consent

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  (847): Ong my arms are moving wo my consent http://tfl.nu/lzs5
  Replies (7) Good night (1114) Bad night (482) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day

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  (774): Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day http://tfl.nu/bsus
  Replies (4) Good night (1344) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.

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  (603): I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin. http://tfl.nu/m6dy
  Replies (3) Good night (823) Bad night (264) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook

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  (562): Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook http://tfl.nu/7qsk
  Replies (6) Good night (1156) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.

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  (905): You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot" (1-905): He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka. http://tfl.nu/0kc2
  Replies (3) Good night (1008) Bad night (751)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...

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  (360): Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one... http://tfl.nu/mmlz
  Replies (2) Good night (707) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"

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  (203): At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?" http://tfl.nu/4r68
  Replies (5) Good night (1534) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.

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  (870): I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting. http://tfl.nu/ibtm
  Replies (9) Good night (539) Bad night (417) Order T-Shirt

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