I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?