If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
