Midget sex pt 2 tonight
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
