drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
