is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
