Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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