i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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