just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
