apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
