So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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