you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
