so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always time for handjobs
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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