yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
