I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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