okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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