are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
