after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize