i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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