He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Terrible idea I love it
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
