I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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