O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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