So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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