yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
