marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
