So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
