He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
