so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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