Plan B is the new Plan A
I want to have your abortion
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
