Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
