Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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