hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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