I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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