Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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