It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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