8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
third nipple confirmed
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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