we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
