I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
