mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
