I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
