Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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