My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
