let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
