you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
