i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
he fucked my hip out of place.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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