you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
